Ghosts Again

Yet another dream of exorcism. These happen frequently, though I don't always write about them. In this dream it was in a new-to-us home, that we had to move into. It was haunted by the ghost of an Irish bartender (farmer? can't remember).

Attempts to remove any spirit by force usually don't work. They leave me weakened, or if I do succeed, left with a feeling of guilt. Instead: embracing the spirit, sending it love often has the best effect, albeit not always quickly. The icy touch of the spirit world is thrilling yet harrowing. Something within your soul is moved.

The final transformational moments before the spirit departs are quite moving. It is a very emotional process for everyone involved. I can't quite describe it, except as that moment in a movie where you've been rooting for a character the whole film and they finally have a breakthrough.

Equinox 2012 Miami

Ah its the equinox. Time for dreams. I hurt my back and have been very restless. I am trying to write this on my back. I am struggling with having to stay in bed.

Dream 1 I'm on an island that is set up very much like Jurassic Park... only there is a whole city of people living on it. At this time we are attempting to integrate the dinosaurs into daily living. And I mean that in the sense that they are becoming part of society... like int that tv show Dinosaurs, only less silly.
Cue scene with the frilled dinosaurs and the guy who gets spit in the face and then eaten on the stormy night. It's stormy here in Miami.
In this dream I'm fed up with my job. I have a sleek, low riding, convertible black car and I'm stuck in traffic at the end of the day in a parking garage. A crazy moment comes over me. I pull the car out of traffic and race sideways across the garage; hit a a water pipe and crack it and then slam through the side of the parking garage and out into the air... Next I'm in a a mall second floor. More elements of authority conflict and doing crazy things outside society norms then GTFO. Security, cops etc are all on m' ass.
I manage to get to secure place. Well, its peaceful and far from the city. A rural homestead where I feel safe and comfortable. I pull in at night, crawl out of my car and sleep on the grass. (I am sleeping on the floor these days) There are two houses here, one is more of a cabin but has a wrap around porch.
The next portion of the dream involves interactions with a young friend in an idyllic setting, only to have the "big bad" authority figure show up - knowing who I am and what I've done. I am subtly called out, then tricked into a corner where I must either admit guilt or blame someone I care about.
In the end, youth alcohol consumption and all, things turn out well. Somehow the authority figure has a heart of gold and lets us be.

Dream 2
Many interactions with friends. Secret love, unrequited, when you are in a relationship with another. How often this comes up as a theme. How much feeling returned and honesty with words does harm? Mostly running around a neutral yard as a setting.

Dream 3
Lana is waiting for a friend to come back - she left a jacket in their vehicle. But this vehicle is a spaceship! I am coming along to meet and I am so very excited. In a jungle grove we wait, and the actinic blue-white light of its thrusters throws everything into harsh relief. When it lands Lana opens a door and grabs out a bright orange vest and puts it on. (Its the one Marty wears in Back to the Future)
The pilot is more robot than life form. I give it a jar of some food, like sesame tahini or peanut butter - which it bites off the bottom of before I explain that the contents are edible, not the whole thing.

Gets me thinking that when we make contact with alien life - what will we do if it looks just like us?

Snow, Kittens, and Storms

1. It's a snowy day. I'm following a navy blue pickup truck and I'm driving a maroon and sporty Saturn (yeah, I know there really aren't sporty Saturns, but its a dream). The pickup has a piece of caution tape trailing off from a tie-down in the bed and I lazily reach out and grab it, thinking to pull it off, but it causes the truck to skid off the road to one side. I let go and it rides back on. I grab it again and the same effect. I'm concerned for their safety but also fascinated by the phenomenon, and I want to pull off the tape so they don't get caught on anything else. The next grab though, causes us both to spin out, them to the left, and myself to the right both into the snowbanks on the side of the road. This is on a little New England green reminiscent of my home town.

I dig my little car out of the snow and physically pick it up and put it on the road. In my mind Saturns are made of plastic and very light apparently. The pickup has four guys in it, some of mixed Native American blood, and there is a police officer pulling them over. He gets them all out and starts checking the truck for drugs. It's totally bogus, but you know he is looking for any excuse to arrest one or all of them. He does find a random excuse to bust them. I'm watching all this from another point of view and the dream ends.

2. Kittens. A mother long hair tortoise-shell is playing with each of her two kittens. They are rolling around in the mossy undergrowth. It is very cute.

3. A storm is rolling in, and everyone is very frightened. I am in my dad's garage, in the woodshop making something. Up in the rafters mice run around; the tortoise-shell cat is stalking. Thunder rumbles and vibrates the walls. The wind picks up and I move out of the garage to join friends and family in the house. There is a tension in the air - an anticipation of something. [reminds me of another dream where the sky opened up and space ships landed, or another with the coming of the apocalypse.]

Science, Violence, Kittens

Visiting an island research station where they need a certified diver with confined spaces to inspect intake pipes. I am talking to the woman in charge on a boulder-strewn shore. The sun is setting and the stone looks black against the orange sky. Inside is a team of young men and women scientists I know. W-- is among them, or at least the dream equivalent of W--. The second floor has the center cut out to look down balcony-like to the first floor. I am hanging out of there looking across to a table where they are all seated. W-- approaches and says she misses me.

transition

I am taking on a job/mission and must go. On another vessel (which resembles an old riverboat), this one with another cast of familiar characters. The mood is like a party, like a Labor Day barbeque / cruise. Half is family and half is graduated colleagues of mine. Mr. C-- is hitting up the booze and getting himself into trouble when he takes money from a classmate, digitally via the friend's phone. Which stars off on a hide-and-seek/ chase over the boat, in the stalls (where the friend's clothing and things were & where C-- got the phone), and over the docks.

Back on the boat I meet the family daughter and bump into W-- and other women I know. They are also on a mission - but counter to my own! Some secret lab/place in the nearby wood where the boat is docked. Compelled a brunette tosses a puppy (brown dachshund) towards the canopy - which tries to get in to the lab - hidden - and with a glass elevator. I leap over the side to get the puppy. There's a ladder and I reprimand the woman (now hanging upside down from the boat railing) "What were you thinking?!" I collect the puppy and her, go inside and make an awkward farewell.

transition

Next mission in North Hill Country. I pull up in a motorcycle at a very nice white farmhouse, the kind with money. Park my motorcycle with the puppy. Inside is a red-brunette haired woman at a set, and elegant dark wood dining table sipping wine. On the table is a thin long sword.

A game of two cats begins between us. I am here to kill her. Slay may be more apropos as there is a dangerous air about her. We exchange sharp words, malevolence beneath civility. I am unarmed and so grab a goblet and break it for an object of sharp glass and turn it on her. The fight is fierce, tentative, and surprisingly brief as I slash, get the upper hand, and position, pin her and grab her hair in one hand, the sword in another. The tip is poised over her heart prepared to plunge. My heart is beating hard in my chest and throat. I start the thrust and she shrieks, NO!

There is a still moment. I hesitate. I cannot end her life. I turn away the sword, and hair already firmly in hand, I kiss her passionately. Which is surprisingly returned and just as fierce. Adrenaline rush.

I let her up and walk out - mission unaccomplished. But I do pick up a kitten, white with grey patches, and leave.

The kitten runs in another part of the farmhouse I have a weird & silly exchange of a family's baby for the kitten. I point in the window at the kitten, they come to the door with a baby in footy pajamas... I shake my head and point around the corner to the kitten scampering up their stairs.

I attempt to leave again. The rest is a silly attempt to ride a motorcycle with a puppy and kitten.

I get turned around, ask for directions from an older woman in a red pickup - one of those with the high wooden sides. I meet a black man and his family as I turn back around in his driveway. We talk motorcycles for a while and he shows me his garage - which the kitten escapes into and is frantically chasing mice, all tiny claws and teeth. She manages to catch a baby bunny - hurting but not killing it. Finally I catch the kitten and the dream ends with me settling kitten and dachshund on the bike.

Persecution, Judgment, Attack, Shame

1) Meeting with all of my professors but having nothing to show. Like a preliminary defense, but with nothing substantive to defend.

2)Argument with a man. We're in a university A big hall.Cheerlieading try-outs. Parking garage. A fight breaks out but he grabs me - literally - by the balls. I feel violated, outraged, ion pain, and helpless. I also seem to be wearing flimsy jogging shorts. I cannot shake him or fend him off. Every new attack is met with same as I try to get the upper hand.

3)I am visiting with L-- and family. Awkward family moments... they don't know that he two of us have broken up. S-- looks sad. I talk to her hoping to cheer her up; ask if she wants to go for a ride, a journey. Her response is happy and then unexpected.

We are in a living room. I'm on an air mattress - she on the couch - and she's then clinging to me, saying "you do love me" and she forces kisses on me... which is all very excitijng but I'm freaking out: 1) because we're in the living room and 2) because this would wreck both our relationships to L--. I try to get away, push her away - but she'd got her hand down my pants and L-- is right there hearing it all. We're toast. S-- is rejected and L-- is pissed.

No win.

Also of note, S-- is wearing a red ribbon. She is almost Nordic blonde and reminds me of [a friend]. The ribbon is the scarlet letter of the dream: a symbolic accusation of betrayal. S-- had the red ribbon like a sash draped over her shoulders. L-- was wearing a maroon scrunchie, which she threw at me.

I felt very judged, and guilty in some sense. but revealing of hidden emotion is exciting - and has consequences.

We carry our judgements into our dreams.

On Stage Again

Dream, January 2, 2012
A wonderful wooden set, circa mid to late 1970s. Performing a play about a royal family - Hamlet? But I have absolutely no knowledge of my lines or any plot and we're opening tonight, as in Now! and I'm in scene one and I don't even have my costume on.

No pleas or stalling: You're on!

Desperately pulling on my costume over my clothes and with my pants halfway up the curtains open: and I disappoint everyone.

Victorian Stage - Ideological Confrontation

Dreams 11/13

Stage theatre production in a Victorian building hosted by my friends.

Swordfight between two men in black robes and red vestments. Of eastern origin. It is an ideological confrontation, a difference in philosophy. One man is killed, my grandfather. Some significance of antlers and my disrespect: laughing at their assembly. Emergency flight tickets home for the funeral, but I miss it having read my email too late.

I must fight the last man and we brutalize each other, but do not kill. Nunchaku to bludgeon. Still, when the fight is over and the man leaves we say "Shalom" to each other and part not as enemies, still at odds.

So many dogs of all breeds and sizes running loose in the hayfields with cows. The dogs must come in, there is a rabid cow in the field. I call their names and bring all the dogs in the house. Fifteen or so. Cats come in too, as if all animals are responding to my call.

I lament missing my flight and I order a coffee at a bed and breakfast in New Hampshire (Vermont? It's always snowing or has snowed in my dreams of Vermont.) There is some trick to making this special brew of coffee and I chat with the barista and owner. She reminds me a bit of S. at the general store in N. Montpelier.

The Man Who Was Fireproof

A dream last night.

"Hawaii," 1960s or 1970s.

I was someone else. Civilian working on a military base. The only reason I can think its the late 60s or 70s is the facial hair and clothes. Big mustaches, big glasses and sunglasses.

Emergency. Volcanic eruption. I or rather this man that I was, in the midst of chaos of evacuees walks towards the heat. Fires that I touch go out, and I remember it being very peaceful. People rush past me, some covered in ashes as I move towards the nascent volcano on the coast. Burning cloth and straw thatch wink out, the fires not so much extinguished as just gone.

As I approach the cone I feel afraid. Firefighters are hosing the landward side trying to harden the 'a'a flow and direct it out towards the ocean. I walk up the side of the mounding cone. My shoes melt, and I try to keep myself from sinking in the hot, hot rock as the sun is setting. That would be the end of me. The rock cools where I stand, still hot enough to burn, hot enough to turn the rubber of my shoes to goo, but cool enough to walk on. The sun is just about gone as I reach the summit, and the stars shine overhead. My heart is shaking, but the fires cool as I stand on the mount. The firetrucks have left now.

The next day I wander back to the base. People are celebrating. The firefighters and some of the military command are getting the accolades. I'm ash covered and tired, and I see some of my friends at the base, also scientists and civilians rushing over. They are surprised to see me alive since I had disappeared yesterday. One guy has me around the shoulders and asks someone to take a picture of us, saying that this could be 30 years from now. Bewildered I ask what he's talking about and he leads me to a mirror. My hair is streaked with grey and not from the ash, it has actually turned grey in many places from its normal dark brown.

(this is also where I can see that its not me in the dream, as I don't look like this guy, nor could I sport a mustache so full.)

Last part of the dream I stalk into the mess hall and make my way to the kitchen and I brush past indignant brass that's getting all the praise for their heroism. I pour myself a stiff drink.

Filmed On Location in Archetypal Cities

Once again,

The insider, the rebel. Oppressive totalitarian government. A city on the coast, built upon the ruins of former civilizations. Part of the city has become a prison. I am inside this prison with my family. In appearance, it is part Providence, part Mykonos, Greece... only there's technology enough to support Giant Robots. (too much anime)

The themes have been played before... resist the oppressive authority, secretly aid resistance groups, stealthily escape from the city, dramatically escape from the city.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Thirty-Six_Dramatic_Situations

So, what is the meaning in my dreams? I haven't kept a dream journal since I filled my last one. I'm thinking I should remedy that.

In the Mountains

Dreamed I was in the mountains, snow snow everywhere. Not like here in Rhode Island. There's just wind and rain. Winter settles-in in my dreams even though I haven't lived in Vermont for almost three years.

And such wind. Its a Rhode Island commodity. We could export it. On the plus side it's good for sailing if its not too fierce.

I realized in the small hours of this morning that I haven't been writing to the void because I haven't been alone in a while. I used to write more when I was lonely. I suppose its not a bad thing, to not be lonely. I had grown so used to it. In some ways I enjoyed my solitude, but I am discovering that you don't always have to do things on your own, despite the American value of self-reliance. Its a value that I adhered fiercely to, and I'm trying to give it up.

Utility Work in Hell

Dreams... again.

A serpent queen, regal in white cloth. A hall, or palace in golds and browns with a feel of a Mediterranean climate. She see through deception, calmly and without malice she meets out justice.
--
Venomous snakes guard the entry to a cave or tunnel. I wish to pass without disturbing them, but I cannot and I am bitten. I kill one trying to pry it from my hand, and I am sad for the loss and damage that I have caused. The world is underwater... sand cool sea green and rough brown cave wall.
--
I'm in the employ of an adventuring company, trying to set up a portal in a layer of Hell but I'm all out of balloons. I feel daring enough to walk around here, the denizens occupy other parts, and I spot a friend of mine doing line work near a pit of fiery tentacles. (Hell is high tech these days.) We chat for a bit and then I see a Moloch coming this way and I have to run.

I'm in a corridor in one of the less classically looking parts of Hell now. That is to say, not all towering gothic architecture and fiery skies and pits of lava. This is cool white-grey walls and stainless steel. LCD panels line the walls in 8" squares, occasionally displaying video of the dystopian society that lives here... mind control and totalitarian government state. Herringbone like off to the sides of this hall are rooms full of people. They are here waiting, anxiously and frustrated and some angry. They all know they are waiting for something important, but none of them can really say what it is. Just crowded isolation, none of them really paying attention to anyone else.

--Hell is other people.

Like a Lion

Last night, among other things, I dreamed of lions. They seem to be making their way into my life. I see their corded muscle bodies and feel the coarse fur. There's a danger and a mystery and a power to them.
Another less clear reference in the dream, was a Victorian house in Vermont where a lion personality lived that has since disappeared from my life.

Monday I visited Newport with my sister, and I commented at all the lions at the gates. I always wanted lions at the entrance to my home, even if I don't have a massive mansion overflowing with old wealth. They were present throughout my childhood in CT, a symbol in many places, and I even drew lion-headed fountains into my imaginary world.

And this morning, to bring back the memory of this dream that I had forgotten upon my waking, I tune into NPR and Garrison Keiler's deep rich voice reading the poetry of the day, "Aperture" by Gary Short, just at the moment of the mouse lying still before the cat, and the reference to Livingston and his experience in the jaws of a lion.


In the African journals, Livingston tells
of the charging lion that knocked him down.
When he was held in the lion's mouth,
the human body's trance-like response
was to go limp in an ecstatic giving up
that saved. To assume death

to stay alive.


Do these symbols have meaning in my life? We are not yet upon Leo's time. But the solstice approaches and the Lion of Summer will be here soon. I will have to think more on Lions today.

Moon Bright

(Feb 2008 pic)

Full Moon today. My dreams were troubled last night. Losing my teeth again. Ugh. I dislike that theme immensely, but interestingly enough it's happened so often in the dream world that I recognize it as something familiar there. One common thing lately is my family's presence there. I do not dream about them often, and now almost every night for a week. Maybe it's my anticipation of seeing them for Easter.

Wars across boundaries of time and space.

I have been high and low. Right now I am feeling pretty low. Really lonely. Anyways.

4/1:
I am in Europe moving between borders. There is a Man and myself and a lady friend, we are trying to avoid being shot or bombed while looking for food and water. The people are poor and wear tattered grays and browns. I am of some mixed race, they keep calling me the "Mexican." We hide out in a safe house, little more than walls and a few windows. There is one wooden table, and a hand crank turntable/phonograph. Soldiers arrive. We can't escape before they storm inside. A couple of us climb out a bathroom window, but its too late. In some kind of time warping event, mechanical soldiers, (torsos and treads) run us down.

There are more advanced and streamlined soldiers too. Those that were created to fight the previous incarnations of genetically modified supersoldiers gone rogue. There is one of these men in particular that cannot be stopped. He crouches in the deep pine forest, then jumps through dimensions and time streams to confront the consortium of overlords that plays with lives like a game. In their bubble like command center they feel invincible. But it is end game for them.

To Rule a Kingdom, To Rule a Child

Last night I dreamed I was an emperor. The kingdom was foggy, bleak black and green. My child was a princess that did not wish to marry, and I was a strict man compelled by the duties of my position and the weight of my ancestors.

Lagomorphic dreams

I dreamed I was racing across a bridge and across a wet field filled with rabbits and deer. Beneath the passing of my feet rabbits of all sizes and colors grazed in the grasses. At the edge of the field was a tiny wood, and within it a series of small paths, so that one could pass if crawling. There the rabbits spoke with me in human tongue and peace could be made between the rabbit tribe and the tribe of men. And there I dwelt in a tiny home, with others like myself, away from the watchful eyes of men, in the rabbit warden beneath the earth.

Astrology in the long terms

Been thinking about dreams often again. I've started again to write down what I remember when I awake. Like Livejournal, and some other activities I used to do, it's strange to come back after a hiatus. Not sure if I'll be as active in LJ as I used to be, but I think, since this was partly intended as a dream journal anyway I shall begin posting my dreams. Some are past interpretation and long since forgotten. They are like strange stories to find again.

So this is right about where I am:

Positive reforms ***
Valid during many months: This is a time of new awakening to a sense of what your life is about. Before this time you have been working to establish your sense of who you are in the community of adults, and by now you probably have a pretty clear idea about that. But you may also have discovered that what you are doing with your life is not entirely appropriate. You may conclude that in the past you were motivated by too narrow a conception of what you are, by a need for security, or simply by petty ego-drives. Now you will begin to see your life in terms of a larger perspective. You should do whatever is necessary to make sure that you can live according to this new understanding.

More under the cut.

This influence does not arouse your sense of idealism particularly, but it does make you see that the universe is a very large place, and you are a much larger part of it than you have realized.

You may be attracted to rather mystical ideas, but they will have meaning only according to how they affect your everyday world. At this time you don't need more abstractions to chase around - you need to make positive reforms in your life. And you will do so!

This influence will cause you to cut away your past and reorient your life in accordance with the larger vision you have now. The many changes that occur may seem somewhat scary, but they are ultimately for the best. You will find new freedom in a new consciousness.

Transit selected for today (by user):
Neptune Sextile Neptune, , activity period from middle of April 2008 until beginning of February 2010
www.astro.com