Slave to the Computer

Why should we continue to invent new technology? I demand to know, when increasingly we are it's slaves. We are fooled into serving it. It's great lie, is that it will free us. More and more we create that which is supposed to grant us more time. What it allows, is for more to be done in less time.

The cruel paradox is thus: We are expected to do more in less time. We are held accountable to these great expectations by employers, teachers. We're doing it to ourselves, the technology itself does not inherently demand more from us. And the time that is left? We are expected to continue to put in as much as we had before. Which means we are producing much more in the same amount of time, but we are being sorely taxed for it. The human mind and body was not meant to multitask as much as we are being asked. The mind focuses on one task at a time. Our neural pathways don't cross wire mid-task.

What are the total societal consequences of such a pervasive mentality?

Mental break-down, stress, depression, anxiety, sickness, violence, suicide.

This adds up to a huge monetary and humanitarian toll on our society. Is it worth it?

Utility Work in Hell

Dreams... again.

A serpent queen, regal in white cloth. A hall, or palace in golds and browns with a feel of a Mediterranean climate. She see through deception, calmly and without malice she meets out justice.
--
Venomous snakes guard the entry to a cave or tunnel. I wish to pass without disturbing them, but I cannot and I am bitten. I kill one trying to pry it from my hand, and I am sad for the loss and damage that I have caused. The world is underwater... sand cool sea green and rough brown cave wall.
--
I'm in the employ of an adventuring company, trying to set up a portal in a layer of Hell but I'm all out of balloons. I feel daring enough to walk around here, the denizens occupy other parts, and I spot a friend of mine doing line work near a pit of fiery tentacles. (Hell is high tech these days.) We chat for a bit and then I see a Moloch coming this way and I have to run.

I'm in a corridor in one of the less classically looking parts of Hell now. That is to say, not all towering gothic architecture and fiery skies and pits of lava. This is cool white-grey walls and stainless steel. LCD panels line the walls in 8" squares, occasionally displaying video of the dystopian society that lives here... mind control and totalitarian government state. Herringbone like off to the sides of this hall are rooms full of people. They are here waiting, anxiously and frustrated and some angry. They all know they are waiting for something important, but none of them can really say what it is. Just crowded isolation, none of them really paying attention to anyone else.

--Hell is other people.

Like a Lion

Last night, among other things, I dreamed of lions. They seem to be making their way into my life. I see their corded muscle bodies and feel the coarse fur. There's a danger and a mystery and a power to them.
Another less clear reference in the dream, was a Victorian house in Vermont where a lion personality lived that has since disappeared from my life.

Monday I visited Newport with my sister, and I commented at all the lions at the gates. I always wanted lions at the entrance to my home, even if I don't have a massive mansion overflowing with old wealth. They were present throughout my childhood in CT, a symbol in many places, and I even drew lion-headed fountains into my imaginary world.

And this morning, to bring back the memory of this dream that I had forgotten upon my waking, I tune into NPR and Garrison Keiler's deep rich voice reading the poetry of the day, "Aperture" by Gary Short, just at the moment of the mouse lying still before the cat, and the reference to Livingston and his experience in the jaws of a lion.


In the African journals, Livingston tells
of the charging lion that knocked him down.
When he was held in the lion's mouth,
the human body's trance-like response
was to go limp in an ecstatic giving up
that saved. To assume death

to stay alive.


Do these symbols have meaning in my life? We are not yet upon Leo's time. But the solstice approaches and the Lion of Summer will be here soon. I will have to think more on Lions today.

Mental Meanderings

Stuck in my own
philosophical
ontological paradox.

What is in your head?
How do I share that which is in my own head?
All this social programming
keeps us
from reaching inside ourselves and into each other,
to stroke those waveform thoughts which make us unique.

It's semi-lucid, an arabesque of meaning and summation.
There is no
road map
to these stars
within our heads,
a great inky sheet strewn with sparkling diamonds.

And within each a burst of colors and light!
How can we share this?
Touch,
explore,
feel
with all our senses these little
dream-windows
into a grander scale of universe?

And here I ramble on in impotent language
writhing like a clutch of newborn garter snakes in spring
moving towards intangible heat.

Stillness comes at times, but more so
is the liquid movement
of life
in a sea of green and gold and azure.

Everyday swimming
in the glittering sea of living things,
infused with the sweet scents and pheromones
of urges
and desires
and dreams.

Todays Mission: Failed

Take note: spring rolls are neither samosas nor burritos. Also I need a more elegant way preparing Chinese vermicelli. Using scissors was a bit embarrassing.

Moon Bright

(Feb 2008 pic)

Full Moon today. My dreams were troubled last night. Losing my teeth again. Ugh. I dislike that theme immensely, but interestingly enough it's happened so often in the dream world that I recognize it as something familiar there. One common thing lately is my family's presence there. I do not dream about them often, and now almost every night for a week. Maybe it's my anticipation of seeing them for Easter.

Bloom

The Magnolias are opening, and even the rain cannot dampen their spirits, though some of their petals may brown. Their scent is heavenly.

Wars across boundaries of time and space.

I have been high and low. Right now I am feeling pretty low. Really lonely. Anyways.

4/1:
I am in Europe moving between borders. There is a Man and myself and a lady friend, we are trying to avoid being shot or bombed while looking for food and water. The people are poor and wear tattered grays and browns. I am of some mixed race, they keep calling me the "Mexican." We hide out in a safe house, little more than walls and a few windows. There is one wooden table, and a hand crank turntable/phonograph. Soldiers arrive. We can't escape before they storm inside. A couple of us climb out a bathroom window, but its too late. In some kind of time warping event, mechanical soldiers, (torsos and treads) run us down.

There are more advanced and streamlined soldiers too. Those that were created to fight the previous incarnations of genetically modified supersoldiers gone rogue. There is one of these men in particular that cannot be stopped. He crouches in the deep pine forest, then jumps through dimensions and time streams to confront the consortium of overlords that plays with lives like a game. In their bubble like command center they feel invincible. But it is end game for them.

To Rule a Kingdom, To Rule a Child

Last night I dreamed I was an emperor. The kingdom was foggy, bleak black and green. My child was a princess that did not wish to marry, and I was a strict man compelled by the duties of my position and the weight of my ancestors.

Ex Libris

How do I explain my strange love affair with books? I'm not alone. Having moved several times recently my shelves are a hodge-podge of genres. Moliere, Candide, Cervantes next to Nausicaa and Jimmy Corrigan. There is love poetry and photography, droll fictions and the mad writings of beat poets and St. Augustine and Gregory of Tour's History of the Franks, graphic novels and biographies of Russian empresses. Don't forget all the modern apocalyptic prophecies, drug-addled honey tongued eloquence, and a beautiful myriad of crop circles and extra terrestrial channelings.

I am inspired by their presence, by their content. Within them lie whole worlds and generations of ideas and speculations and dreams and values. It is a strange fractured record we keep of ourselves. I hold onto all of these, many of which I've read in full and just as many I keep for the ideas they represent or for the occasional glance and skimming of inspiration. I love so many of them, but how do I part with them?

Spring Insanity Cookies

3 cups king arthur flour
1/2 cup spelt flour
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup unbleached sugar
4 tbs coconut oil
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
3 tsp aluminum-free baking powder
3 eggs
3/4 cup black coffee, cooled
1/4 cup currants
1/4 cup chopped walnuts
1/2 cup Ghiardelli 60% dark chocolate chips

Mix it together by standard baking procedures. Have a shot of sake.
1) Sugar+coconut oil first.
2) Dry ingredients.
3) 1 egg at a time.
4) Accessories (currants, walnuts, chips)
5) Coffee
Drink a glass of wine.

6) Chill in fridge 30-45 min while 7) preheating oven to 375 and making a burrito.
8) 10-12 minutes, turn once.
9) Cool on a rack immediately (burn second tray because you forgot to set a timer)
10) Eat.
11) Have another shot of sake.
12) Consider revising recipe, then don't bother. Done.

Equinox

The balance of Light and Dark

Lagomorphic dreams

I dreamed I was racing across a bridge and across a wet field filled with rabbits and deer. Beneath the passing of my feet rabbits of all sizes and colors grazed in the grasses. At the edge of the field was a tiny wood, and within it a series of small paths, so that one could pass if crawling. There the rabbits spoke with me in human tongue and peace could be made between the rabbit tribe and the tribe of men. And there I dwelt in a tiny home, with others like myself, away from the watchful eyes of men, in the rabbit warden beneath the earth.

St. Valentine

Today I feel such a strong strong pull in my chest. My stomach is fluttering and my knees are weak. But why? What am I called towards? Was it somehow the anticipation of the Baptists who just came to my door telling me that I am going to hell unless I tell Jesus that I'm a sinner and accept him into my heart? That was odd, let me tell you. The Jehovah's witnesses were easier to stomach back in Connecticut. But I didn't want to argue with them. I told them as much that I could lay out why I believe what I believe, but they wouldn't hear any of what I told them. They prayed for my soul. I prayed for theirs.

In the end we're all going to heaven anyway. At least I think so. We create hell for ourselves here. We place too many limits on God, with a narrow mindedness. For all things and all arguments of Bible verse I could counter now. But why butt heads? I just smiled took their pamphlet and let them go on. They really didn't want to let me go.

So anyway... It feels like theres so much potential in the air today! Something big is happening. What is it?! Am I blinded by my own rationalism? - looking to see something grander that what is right before me...

:P

EDIT: Apartment complex = wholesale soul saving opportunity. More souls saved per minute than even suburbia can offer!

EDIT: I think my necktie was too tight. Thus the lightheaded/nauseous/weak-kneed simulation of love. Go figure.

Feb. 12th, 2009

Where Sky is rent Arcadia shines
In stars above majestic pines

Astrology in the long terms

Been thinking about dreams often again. I've started again to write down what I remember when I awake. Like Livejournal, and some other activities I used to do, it's strange to come back after a hiatus. Not sure if I'll be as active in LJ as I used to be, but I think, since this was partly intended as a dream journal anyway I shall begin posting my dreams. Some are past interpretation and long since forgotten. They are like strange stories to find again.

So this is right about where I am:

Positive reforms ***
Valid during many months: This is a time of new awakening to a sense of what your life is about. Before this time you have been working to establish your sense of who you are in the community of adults, and by now you probably have a pretty clear idea about that. But you may also have discovered that what you are doing with your life is not entirely appropriate. You may conclude that in the past you were motivated by too narrow a conception of what you are, by a need for security, or simply by petty ego-drives. Now you will begin to see your life in terms of a larger perspective. You should do whatever is necessary to make sure that you can live according to this new understanding.

More under the cut.

This influence does not arouse your sense of idealism particularly, but it does make you see that the universe is a very large place, and you are a much larger part of it than you have realized.

You may be attracted to rather mystical ideas, but they will have meaning only according to how they affect your everyday world. At this time you don't need more abstractions to chase around - you need to make positive reforms in your life. And you will do so!

This influence will cause you to cut away your past and reorient your life in accordance with the larger vision you have now. The many changes that occur may seem somewhat scary, but they are ultimately for the best. You will find new freedom in a new consciousness.

Transit selected for today (by user):
Neptune Sextile Neptune, , activity period from middle of April 2008 until beginning of February 2010
www.astro.com

sky and sea

sky and sea, originally uploaded by Raineach.

Trip to Beavertail Point. The weather was superb for February. 57 degrees Fahrenheit!

More at my Flickr.

x-posted to

More of the technology I want to see!

I already mentioned this about a year ago, but I was very excited today when I stumbled upon the "plastic-logic reader"! It's super light, operates with a touch screen and hold a ton of info. New Plastic Electronic Technology!

http://www.core77.com/blog/object_culture/today_new_kindle_tomorrow_new_kindle_competitor_12580.asp

Hourly Comics Day 2009

http://knightbluerose.livejournal.com/142269.html#cutid1 Too lazy to repost all those pics.

Discoveries as of late

Several things have come into my awareness in recent days, and I'm beginning to sum up and reach conclusions. This new energy of existence, which Seems to come from within us is then tailored to our selves. For me, in my experiments and fascination with divination it is becoming clear that this is no longer the way to go about my life. I was beginning to feel like someone anxiously awaiting what to be told to do. That isn't really what I want. I want to be at the helm, in control of my destiny and choices. I've been wavering too much, hinging on what ifs and sorting through every possibility.

I still love astrology and find it fascinating though. The energies I've been tapping into to actively divine are my own and vary depending upon my own vibrations. So in essence the answers are coming from within, but I don't need to go about it with complexity, nor do I need to pursue active magic. It was interesting exerting my will upon the world again for a little while. I hadn't done it in so long. Most of the time things are becoming as they are with no effort or exertion on my part. They simply are.

My intentions bring about a good many things, and some of which I have been waiting for is appearing on my very doorstep. Much of my desires are being met with rapid creation. And I am tired of trying to be something for others. I am only myself and more shamelessly demand that others accept it or not. If they don't like it then we are simply not in the same vibration at the time.

And so I still wish to be boundlessly creative. I'm in love with my books, or rather what they represent- stories. Story creation is still one of my favorite things to do. I'm ravenously enjoying the creations of others too. All of my magical baubles are now just pretty treasures, and I enjoy each as if it has a flavor of its own, but they no longer exist with purpose other than just to be. I am still a incorrigible collector, and I love being surrounded by my little treasures. I admit though, that I need to clean house a bit and only keep that which still gives me joy.

The time of waiting is coming to an end... and I will make my own reality every moment.

EDIT: So what am I? I am a storyteller.

I am fascinated with things of this world and things outside of it - essentially nearly everything in nature and among the stars. (There are definitely fields I don't care much about though, I've given up on chemistry, math and ticks except in purely abstract and philosophical terms.)

and with my chosen career at present, my active Magic will have a physical outlet in the creation planning and design of physical space. That makes me happy and comforted that something that felt so apart of me will have use and purpose. It took a bit for the realization to sink in that they were not exclusive.

Cheers darling.

I don't know whether I'm healing or breaking. I'm trying to let go, but I feel I need to have a drink to cope. That's no good.

I'm at a pivot point I think. I think I can see the other side of the mountain, but it looks just as bleak.

Fuck. I hate being alone. The irony is that I'm so very aware of the universe and that I'm not alone. Okay, it's like being behind glass, and I can see everyone but I cannot touch them. I ache for it. I weep for it. There's no poetry to my melancholy. Perhaps it would be more productive to produce with this yearning than to be self deprecating.

Feeling lost again?

Aye. The world still spins, the stars wheel o'erhead. And I feel the crash of the waves on my naked skin. There is salt. And Blood. I think I shall sleep awhile in the sand and let Morpheus take away the ache.

First day back in classes.

So I'm doing well, I suppose. I started Spanish 101 and felt completely lost. It's actually a really novel experience and I kind of like it. We're not supposed to speak any English and the teacher speaks to us in mostly all Spanish. I'm really a visual person and I think it helps to see the words written out first, so again this is a new experience. Parts of my brain I haven't used in years are now being forced to work. How neat is that?! Its like being underwater. Still I know its only the first day though, I feel I'm struggling.

Tomorrow I work out a schedule for being a secretary at the Landscape Architecture office along with a couple of other students. This will be good A) for money, and B) to give me forced time to focus and perhaps draw for my other job. (getting double pay woot!)

I volunteered to help convert a textbook that's out of print and totally unavailable anywhere into a usable pdf. (not like I really have that much free time) Not legal, but NO ONE has it. It's a private press from the 70's. Kind of like the UVM extension service book I have on Vermont plants. It would be a crime to let that information die because of publishing rights.

I also am uploading several old sketches from my 2001-2003 notebook to my sketch-art blog. http://3-tart.blogspot.com

Snowy view

Ok, so I have been very scattered and unfocused when it comes to the internet these days and haven't been keeping up with the blogging of things. I have excuses, but I don't know if I can care enough...

Explaining will take too long, I shall sum up: Final projects were all brain consuming. I needed a lot of recoup time. I was in Maine and had no internet. I couldn't bring myself to do anything that I felt I "had" to do. I was dealing with emotional things involving feelings towards other individuals. Short daylight hours make me strange and needing lots of sleep.

But now it seems I'm making my way out. I'm looking back and saying, "gee, that was interesting." and evaluating some of the experiences. I'm making a point of not judging them good or bad, they just were.

In more recent news, the post office delivered me an empty envelope with the bottom torn off (with delivery confirmation). I'm out $40 for the book. I'm insuring things from now on, because it seems I'm not the only one who has lost mail to the automatic sorting beast that lives in Providence and doesn't answer the phone. I'm more irritated than upset. I'll just have to order another book.

The watercolor pencils Selene gave me are being put to good use, and soon shall be the paints I bought when I left for vacation. I'll be opening my etsy shop as soon as I get a few paintings done for sale.

School starts next week, and I'm excited to be learning Spanish. And I really want to go to Costa Rica, and I think I may get an internship in Vermont this summer. Things could be panning out smoothly soon.

Astrology...

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “It takes a lot of time to be a genius,” said author Gertrude Stein. “You have to sit around so much doing nothing, really doing nothing.” I agree with her statement, which is why I have high hopes that you’re going to tap into more of your dormant genius in the coming days. The cosmic rhythms are nudging you to enjoy a time of profound slack, and I think there’s a good chance you’ll agree to that. A new year, and much to think about. More in the morning. If I get up at a reasonable hour.

First Post! (From the FUTURE...)

Posts prior to 2009 can be found on my Livejournal: http://knightbluerose.livejournal.com

I'm not going to backpost my whole online journaling experience!